(August 7th, i.e., rezday)

This blog is all about the adventures of the “alt” avatar Xiamara Ugajin in Second Life.

Xiamara has stepped into the breach when the main avatar felt that she had to be away from SL for a while. However, Xiamara actually had a predefined purpose even before she was rezzed: She will be conducting an experiment to see how long it takes and what processes are brought into play when it comes to establishing a recognized artistic practice in SL.

The main avatar seems to have achieved a certain kind of recognition in that sense. But as this recognition materialized, the woman behind the keyboard did not pay any close attention as to exactly what dynamics were involved. It seemed to just be there one day… So was it luck? Was it all about being in the right place at the right time? Or were other factors involved as well? Xiamara’s journey will hence be monitored and documented both here and on Flickr with an eye to this very specific quest:

The aim will be to gain an understanding over the workings of the SL art scene. I have maintained that in SL the creative scene evolves around a far more playful, sharing and open understanding of the entire artistic as well as curatorial process. Eccentricities and idiosyncrasies are far better tolerated. Individuation is not considered as a defect but as an asset. SL artists seem to be far more spontaneous in the development of their ideas and their visual language, far less inhibited. Narrative content is not as shunned upon as it is in RL. The scene is not a closed off enclave but is ready to embrace newcomers.

Is all this really so? I sincerely hope that it is.

Will a modest, unconnected alt avatar, with no CV, no credentials, no connections, and most importantly no in, be able to make it? That is the question here asked…

…

August 14th, i.e., one week later:

The woman behind the keyboard has many faults. But she also has a couple of good qualities: One is that she cannot stay idle for very long. She needs something to do. Another is that she tries to be honest with herself – the operative word being try here, of course.

…

When all of this started I wrote here that the main reason for my having been rezzed in the first place is to figure out how long it takes and what exactly it involves to become recognized through one’s building activity in Second Life.

This is not true.

And it has been eating away at the woman that she has told this fib. The truth, the real reason, as to why I was rezzed was that she desperately needed something to do. Something to keep her busy. For the past 12 months a good portion of what makes a life, real or virtual, at all meaningful has been in Second Life for her. And in all of that, the main avatar is far more than just a virtual representation: She is, in fact, her. When the main avatar had to leave, the woman just about cracked up behind her keyboard. She is quite alone in RL. She does have family and good acquaintances and great colleagues around her, but nothing that even remotely comes close to the sort of connections that she left behind when she went into exile. However, alone as she may be, she is not lonely. Refuses to be.

And that is what I am here for. To keep her company.

…

I have not revealed the identity of the main avatar. However, I have made her status in SL very clear. And precisely therein lies the rub, of course. Had the woman really been even remotely interested in conducting some kind of experiment in the nature of what is stated above, that would have been the last thing that I would have been allowed to do.

Because that right there is the huge contradiction, the one which lays the whole thing bare! It completely undermines any kind of objectivity that should be associated with that kind of an enterprise. Once that has been uttered it is pretty much game-over. Ergo, she will have the in, that she so innocently proclaims to not possess, from the get go.

The woman is very much ashamed…

The truth of the matter is that (and at the risk of sounding like the main avatar here – alas, her language is somewhat more colorful than mine…) she doesn’t give a fig about any of it. She knows exactly how it happened the first time around, she really doesn’t need to repeat the experience at all: It all happened through Flickr. All of it. And quite unintentionally at that. Indeed the first images she uploaded aren’t even about things that she built. They are things that her friend built. In fact, uploading those images of his work was the reason she started the feed in the first place. Around this time she also had this idea that she would earn herself a bit of virtual pocket money by selling the clothes that she been making in SL. So, a few weeks after she started posting to Flickr she decided to upload images of her outfits since the stuff really wasn’t getting all that many sales on SL-Exchange. She had noticed that the feed was getting quite a few viewings, so she figured that this might be a good way to show the clothes. (She is quite organized in tagging things and so forth). And it did indeed help, sales went up a bit. Not much but a bit.

And then she started uploading all sorts of images. This happened to be a time when she was quite busy learning how to build in SL, so she started posting images of all of that. And, it has to be said that she began to really enjoy the whole process: The tags, the viewing stats (once she had switched to pro that is), the occasional comment she would get back then… Believe it or not, it was her first proper involvement in a web 2.0 domain.

Her work became better. Changed, and quite dramatically at that. Started to acquire meaning. Meanwhile she kept on posting. And at some point the whole thing kicked off. Art related people that are in SL and also keep an eye on Flickr noticed her. And next thing after that she suddenly had a viable artistic practice in SL.

…

I am a doll. An alt. With me she goes into SL. Not through me but with me. And that is new to her. A beautiful big blond woman, no one at all like her; alien, maybe even abject. Playing an elaborate dress-up game that may help her in finding out if she can re-define her persona. And also her creative output: That much has been true in what was posted here before. She really does want to see if such a thing can in fact be accomplished. Thus, I will be her building companion in that. With my help she hopes to discover whether she can identify with an entity so very different from how she perceives herself to be.

And with me around she can post to this blog, which keeps her busy finding out about stuff in-world so that she can write about it here. In fact, it has been a godsend when she had that brainwave about posting stuff that might help newcomers. It is giving her some kind of purpose without which, I think, she would be in pretty bad shape right now. Maybe feel lonely even?

She is communicative. The main avatar would probably call her a blabbermouth. (I am far more polite ;-). If she can’t talk about other stuff she will talk about facelights. That is just how she is.

But… I think she has started to like me. In fact I think that is precisely why she is making me come clean.

;-))

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